You will have noticed the case in the CA today which refused to allow a Civil Partnership between a heterosexual couple – Steinfeld & Keiden v SoS I’m not sure quite where this is going or why they wanted a Civil Partnership rather than a marriage, but it is part of a larger question – how to deal with cohabiting couples, who have far fewer legal rights and a lot less protection than they think.
I wrote a piece on this some time ago when there was the suggestion of having a Cohabitation Rights Bill. If you are interested in the legal aspects than by all means go back and have a look. However, the final part of the piece is worth reading again now.
I have a proposal which would make a real difference to cohabitation in future.
Parties intending to live together permanently should enter into a “cohabitaton agreement” which would give them significant enhanced rights. The agreement would not be compulsory but should be encouraged by say tax benefits and social pressure. After a time I would expect it to become normal and for people who did not do so to be a small minority.
The agreement could be fairly short, and merely require the parties to live together and look after each other to the exclusion of third parties. In order to make it more attractive and romantic you could include phrases about “in sickness and in health” and “to love and to cherish”.
The parties should make the agreement by saying the words out loud before some state official and in the presence of at least two independent witnesses. This way there could be no argument about whether they consented to it or not. They may give each other small gifts such as a ring. Then they would all sign a register. Clearly this will need to be set up beforehand, and they will no doubt get their families and friends to attend. There may be some singing or at any rate music, and everybody will no doubt go off for a few drinks or even a full-scale party afterwards.
The basics would only cost a couple of hundred pounds, although if you wanted to pay more then nobody would stop you. Your parents may well chip in, and of course everybody would dress up. It may become fashionable or indeed standard for the woman to wear a fancy dress of a distinctive colour, and the man would wear a very smart suit which he may have to hire.
Afterwards the parties would have all the rights and privileges of a married couple. As indeed they would be.
You cannot be serious!
Well perhaps not. But I think a lot of people have overlooked the distinction between a marriage and the wedding. You don’t need a vast multi-thousand pound celebration to be married, but you do need to enter into some basic commitments if you are going to live together for the long term. Societies have had marriage for thousands of years and they can’t all be wrong. Perhaps the problem today is that we have the solution to the difficulties of cohabitation right in front of us and can’t see it.
Perhaps this doesn’t help Miss Steinfeld and Mr Keiden, but I can’t do everything.